LGBTQ+ Weddings in particular can be stressful for all the wrong reasons. I know when I got married, I realized 95% of our guests had never been to an LGBTQ+ wedding before, which really put the pressure on us. In general, I notice LGBTQ+ couples customize their day to match them, and really could care less about what others believe. This is good advice for all couples, but LGBTQ+ couples in particular love to create weddings that reflect the communities’ struggles.
This guide walks you through my Top 5 Tips for LGBTQ+ Couples who are planning to wed! I sincerely hope you enjoy and find value in these tips. And please! Share if there are some in your network who could find this info useful!
Thankfully the country is catching up with marriage equality, and many wedding vendors are actively seeking LGBTQ+ couples.
Here’s a couple recommendations on how to find some LGBT+ wedding vendors:
As you research wedding vendors, here are a few pointers to think about:
Vendors of all kinds who want to work with LGBTQ+ couples KNOW they should be implementing all the strategies above to ensure they are connecting and embracing the LGBTQ+ communities. Be leery of vendors who use gendered language, or don’t openly advocate that all or welcome.
As LGBTQ+ people, we haven’t always enjoyed the right to marriage. Because of this, there’s so much emotion in LGBTQ+ wedding ceremonies, because for many community members of the past, their ceremonies were purely symbolic and not legal. Many LGBTQ+ couples look at their ceremony as an opportunity to make a statement. Some, would prefer something simple and streamlined.
Designing the ceremony is usually one of the biggest friction points for couples. For my wedding, I hadn’t realized that even though my wedding guests were largely LGBTQ+ people and allies, many themselves had never been to an LGBTQ+ wedding before. Talk about pressure!
Readings are a great way to create and weave a ceremony together using different themes. In addition to what you officiant has to say, you as a couple should carefully consider how you want your love story conveyed.
The chemistry of your wedding guests is important to consider. Some LGBTQ+ weddings have no family drama, but many do. If you and your fiancé find yourself inviting family members of mixed support, then this tip is all about drowning them out by inviting your chosen family.
Here’s some tips on how to navigate this:
More importantly, be sure to communicate to your wedding planner, photographer, and officiant if you expect any family issues. They are the 3 vendors that can do you the most help by knowing certain issues before the day arrives.
There’s so much symbolism and ritual in weddings, and many of my couples find themselves doing something “because they have to.” Or worse, they do it because their parents did it. Fortunately, times are changing and Millenials are taking weddings and making them their own.
Here’s some examples of how my past clients shaved tradition down:
In contrast, there are plenty of LGBTQ+ couples who admire tradition. That’s awesome too! We’re in an exciting new world and we, as LGBTQ+ people, get to forge this new path with however much of the past we wish.
I’m opinionated on this topic as a wedding photographer. So many of my peers want to photograph more LGBTQ+ weddings, but often struggle to create intimate images of LGBTQ+ people in love. I believe this is due in part to a traditional approach to posing, which requires a masculine and feminine gender role.
When posing two men of similar height and build, or two women both in beautiful long white dresses, many photographers struggle in the moment. This results in a lot of images where you look like friends who happen to hold hands. I don’t believe you need to hire someone in the community. Rather, ensure that your photographer can show you lots of work from a variety of LGBTQ+ weddings. Part of that process, which is important as well, is that photographer will already work extra hard to ensure you both feel safe and secure during your session, particularly when there is discomfort with public displays of affection.
When considering a photographer, here’s some things to keep in mind: